Stories for Later

This is one of those stories that you use later to embarass your kids....

This morning Conner came in and almost groaning said, "My penis really hurts!" When I tried to get him to explain to me and describe "how" it hurt he said that it just hurt, but then he said, "It's UP instead of down." hahaha... I was thinking maybe he had had an erection and it was hurting him inside his underwear or something. Well, he went to the bathroom to pee and asked me to come in to look and make sure nothing was wrong. When I got in there, he was looking at his testicles though and so I think maybe something is really bothering him. He was standing there holding up his penis and pointing to his testicles and saying that they were hurting. They were a little red.. so who knows.. I think probably his recent outbreak of "leaking" into his underwear has caused too much moisture there and it is probably just iritation, like a diaper rash kind of thing.


Anyway... on to what I truly wanted to tell... had to give you the setup though.

At breakfast, I called Anita to make sure and let her know about it and ask if he had been complaining all morning about this. This helps me gauge the severity and the level of concern I should have or not :).

After I hang up the phone, Conner turns to me and asks, "Who were you talking to?"
I don't know why it came to me, but I quickly replied, "Santa Claus. Yah, I thought I'd call him and let him know about your penis and testicles."

Oh my. The look on his face. His eyes got about as big as quarters and he frowned and tilted his head at me and then in a very concerned voice asked me gingerly, "That wasn't mommy?"

I had to just chuckle at him and say, "Of course it was! Who else do you think I'd be talking to?" and the relief on his face was palpable. His shoulders relaxed even. Woooooo, oh me, it was one of those moments though where you love that you had kids and that you can take advantage of their innocence for your own amusement. I sound so cruel don't I? Naahhhh, I sound like a dad :)

Sheep

Zach has been singing a lot lately. He has really taken to nursery rhymes and children's songs at church. He actually remembers the words to them very well. He'll get them twisted up sometimes and maybe forget what order they go in, but he never messes the tune up though. He always makes the tune sound like it is supposed to, which amazes me. If he forgets a word, he just hums the syllables to the sound of the tune.

So, the other night we were getting ready for bed. Reading the bedtime stories, givng hugs, saying prayers and the like when Zach started singing songs. I have heard him sing a number of songs and even had heard him sing Baa Baa Black Sheep before, but it didn't stop him from making me burst...literally burst a laugh out loud without meaning to. Of course, he didn't realize what he had done at the time and just thought that I was laughing at him singing, so he continued to sing louder and started laughing at himself.

Anyway... this is what he just suddenly started singing..

"Baa Baa CRAP sheep, have you any wool."

Anita and I just looked at each other and started giggling so much we couldn't contain it. She said that's what he's been singing for awhile now, but I know that I have heard him sing it correctly before.. so, who knows.. maybe he meant to do it. Somehow, that wouldn't surprise me either.

Squids

Sunday afternoon, we were all in the car driving back home after lunch. We passed the UHaul place and one of the trucks had a picture of a squid on the side of it. It reminded me of an article I had read and I so I started telling Anita about it. When I finished, Conner asked me, "Dad, what's a squid?"

I explained to him that a squid was like an octopus, but a little bit different in the way their bodies were shaped.

Then, he blurted out, "Octopuses have 8 testicles".

Anita and I both nearly choked and tried our hardest not to explode into laughter. She was turned around looking back at him, and quickly turned around in her seat so that he couldn't see her face. Luckily, I was driving and only had to concentrate on not wrecking as I contained my building laughter.